To the girl I was,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times your favorite people let you down and left you. I'm sorry that you got hurt so easily. I'm sorry that it took you so long to learn some of life's biggest lessons. I'm sorry, little me.
But you are okay.
You're allowed to be sad, hurt, and angry. But you don't have to let it consume you. You don't have to stuff your emotions down until they explode. You don't have to do it alone. You don't have to work so hard to please everyone else, to keep your happy face on to keep up your reputation of the girl who never frowned. You're allowed to be sad, okay?
Little me, don't give up. Don't stop loving big or wearing your heart on your sleeve. Don't start being afraid to be vulnerable or let people into your life. Don't push people away so quickly. It's okay to love your people, and love them a lot. I know this world encourages the "girl bosses" and female champions taking over this world, but you don't have to stress yourself out so much. You don't have to have it all together all the time. You don't have to be perfect, so please, stop trying to be.
I know that in your striving, you're comparing. But just because that girl is pretty doesn't mean you aren't. Just because she's smart doesn't mean you aren't. Just because she has a big circle of friends doesn't mean that your little circle isn't exactly what you need. Just because she's faster than you doesn't mean that you don't belong on the team too. You belong, you are loved, and you are enough through Christ's sacrifice for you.
I know you grew up quickly, but don't forget to keep going on adventures, being present, and enjoying your life. Go out with your friends and laugh till your sides hurt - your homework will be there waiting when you come back. Spend time with your family and make those memories - your phone will be there waiting for you when you come back.
I know you're afraid of being alone. I know your lonely season scared you, and I know you don't want to go back there. I know that you'd rather cling and fight for a friendship, a relationship, so you don't have to be hurt, but sometimes, little me, that's not the best thing. You're never alone, because Jesus is right by your side, and in those moments that you feel lonely, use that to fuel your passion for the Lord. Draw near to Him, and seek Him in all that you do.
Little me, don't stop dreaming. The blog you designed in your head as you laid in bed at night? It's here. You're going places, little me. It's not always easy. You'll get your heart broken a few more times, fall in love, and get hurt again. But you are learning and growing, and I'm so proud of you.
The older I get, the more I learn and the more I wish I could tell my younger self. Looking back on my life, I've gained so much perspective and maturity (even though, yes, I am still 15). I wish I could share all these lessons, but truthfully, I'm so thankful for the experiences (some good, some bad) that have led me to this point. I'm so thankful for the ways that God has transformed me from the inside out, and I wouldn't change any part of my story for that.
What are some things that you wish you could tell your younger self? I'd love to hear it down in the comments! Or, if you have any prayer requests, drop those down below as well and I'd love to pray alongside you.
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