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In last week's post, we talked about the Greek word "eros", which means a sexual kind of love or attraction. We're going through this series, learning about what biblical love is and looks like practically in our own lives, to try and sort out the truth in contrast to what the world believes love is. I have already found so much fruit and encouragement from this series, and so I'm super excited to dive into this next post uncovering the word "storge" with you.
The Greek word "storge" is pronounced "stor-JAY" and it refers to the kind of love shared between family members. Both the Old Testament and the New Testament use the negative form of "storge" multiple times, referring to the lack of love and kindness within a family. And we see examples of this in our everyday lives too, perhaps even within our own families. It is so easy to fall into the flesh and forget how God has called us to love the people in our home, oftentimes because we become so complacent and comfortable with those closest to us. But God is calling Christians to rise up, raise the standards for our families, and share the kind of love He designed us to.
First, let's talk about what this love has become, but wasn't meant to be. In Romans 1:31, Paul is talking about the sinfulness of humanity, and says that "they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy." "No love" in that sentence is translated "astoragos", the negative form of storge. Our families have a lack of loyalty to one another, a lack of gentleness and mercy. We often forget the importance of supporting those in our family, showing them grace when we have conflict, and seeking to understand instead of argue. "Astoragos" is also used in 2 Timothy 3:3, where Paul states that in the last time, people will be "without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good".
God has designed for our family to be a safe place, where forgiveness is extended and we speak words of life over each other. We are to seek the good of others, keeping the peace wherever we can (Romans 12:18), and make sacrifices for our family.
While the word "storge" is not found in the Bible, God has given us many examples of what this familial love is supposed to look like, as well as specific commands about our roles within our family.
In Genesis 14, Lot (Abram's nephew) is taken captive by four kings who raided Sodom and Gomorrah, and the moment Abram heard the news, he gathered the trained men in his group and crafted a plan to rescue Lot. He dropped everything to save Lot, because family was his top priority. In our families, we should be willing to sacrifice for the family God has given us, whether it be our time, energy, or even resources. And while our siblings probably won't be taken captive by foreign kings, the enemy is trying to capture our family, and so we need to constantly be on guard and prayerful.
Later in Genesis, we read the story of Joseph and his brothers, who were envious of their father's favoritism and the visions God had given him. They sold him into slavery, and Joseph experienced many hardships, but eventually being promoted to next to Pharoah. His brothers end up coming to him looking for food because of a famine in the area, but they don't recognize him. When Joseph finally reveals himself, he embraces his brothers with such grace, praising God for how He used the trials and heartache to create so much beauty. He blessed his siblings, providing for them, even when they did not deserve it in the slightest. God calls us to do the same thing - to lavish grace as He has given us grace, to forgive those who hurt us, and bless our family members.
At the end of Exodus 6 and the beginning of chapter 7, Moses again expresses to God his insecurity about his ability to speak and again questions why God would choose him. But God allows Moses' brother Aaron to speak for him, working together to obey the mission the Lord has put on their heart. He gave the brothers different strengths, but used them together to accomplish His plan. Instead of constantly competing or trying to one-up our siblings, maybe we need to take a step back and ask the Lord how He wants us to join together in ministry. We can work together with those in our family to glorify God, and we can support the dreams God has given our family members.
In Esther, Mordecai welcomed Esther into his family when her parents passed. They grew close and Mordecai became a spiritual mentor for Esther. He encouraged Esther to use her role as queen to advocate for her people, empowering her with the truth and supporting her by bringing the whole community together to pray. He offered conviction but in a gentle, loving way, and because of their relationship, Ester was able to save all of the Jews in the area. In the same way, we can offer wisdom and advice to our family, praying over them and supporting them when they need us most. Or, maybe we can even be the one who is willing to receive the help, not closing out the discernment of those in our family, but seeking the Lord for His voice and inviting them to join you in that.
In Ruth, we see Ruth giving up everything to follow her mother in law Naomi to her hometown as they process the grief of their husbands. She humbled herself to serve Naomi, making sacrifices and getting out of her comfort zone to provide for her as much as she could. We too can make sacrifices to meet the needs of our family, especially when someone is walking through grief and heartbreak. God has given us an amazing ministry opportunity within our family to serve and to glorify Him by the way we love.
I will be the first to admit that this is hard sometimes. It can be extremely difficult to get along with our family, let alone love and serve them in the way that God wants us to. But, let's talk about this practically. What steps can we start taking?
Obey our parents - as opposed with arguing with them or rolling our eyes. (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Keep the peace as much as possible, instead of picking fights (Romans 12:16)
Speak words of life and encouragement, instead of complaining or bickering (Ephesians 4:29)
Make a meal or snack to share
Help clean the house, or make a sibling's bed
Leave a note of encouragement for your parents or siblings to find
Reach out and check in on extended family
Forgive those who have hurt you; don't hold onto grudges (Ephesians 4:32, Romans 12:17-20)
Carry each other's burdens - support each other's dreams, be a source of encouragement and help during dark seasons (Galatians 6:2)
Help a sibling with homework
Ask questions - how their day was, if they have prayer requests, etc
Be present
PRAY! Cover your family and your home in prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
I would like to mention that as I talk about these things, this is in a very general scenario. I know that every home has a different story, and so I would encourage you to pray and ask God how He wants you to go and love your family.
God has given us such a beautiful vision and design for our family, and we see throughout Scripture example after example of ways that we can love and support our family in a biblical way. It's not always easy, and sometimes it's a messy process to healing, but it's a command and desire of God that our families are reflections of His love for us.
What steps can you take today to love your family biblically? Let me know in the comments below!
PS: I learned all about this right alongside you! Here are the sources I used to support my research:
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