God has been bringing me into a new season, one with much more joy, peace, and closeness with Him, and I am so grateful for that. It began with refueling my fire for Him and regaining that intimacy that I allowed run dry, but that wasn't the easiest process. I had no idea how many lies I had allow take root in my mind, causing me to believe things that are so far from the truth Jesus bought for me. My perspective about my value and my salvation were totally skewed, and it was so damaging to all my relationships - with myself, with others, and most importantly, with God.
By the grace of God, He has been so gently helping me get back on track and untangle myself from these ugly lies. I began a new strategy that encouraged me so much, and I'm so very excited to share that with you today!
One day in the beginning of October, I was so fed up with the state of my mind. I didn't know what thoughts were true and what thoughts weren't, and was recognizing the repercussions of that. So I sat down with God, with a notebook and my Bible, and I started writing down what I was wrestling with. I started writing down the thoughts I couldn't tell if were true or not, thoughts that I had been having for months and that were weighing on me.
And then, I opened Scripture. I found verses that related to the very things I was struggling with: guilt, shame, receiving grace, pressure, depression. I filled up pages of my notebook writing down verses word for word, filling my mind with what God actually thinks about me. I kept writing and searching my Bible for these verses, because with every one I wrote down, it was as if a brick was being lifted off my shoulders, and the burden I had been carrying for so long slowly started weighing less and less.
Once I had filled an entire page with simply the words of God, I grabbed a sticky note and started rereading. This time, I made notes on who God is, who He says I am, and what He says about our relationship. These weren't complicated notes I found from a commentary, they were the simple yet beyond powerful truths that I read and wrote down.
My heart was changed. You see, this strategy isn't complicated, nor does it require a lot of materials or even good handwriting. But it is effective. Because when I sat down and started writing in that notebook, I was writing the same verses on my heart. I was creating new pathways in my brain, denying the lies and doubts that had been festering for so long, and replacing them with the truth that Jesus bought with His BLOOD. With every word I wrote, I was declaring truth over myself, speaking life instead of death, speaking the language of love instead of the language of guilt.
I have known these truths and these verses my entire life, but they began striking a new cord because they weren't just surface level, happy "Jesus loves me" verses anymore. I was desperate and drowning and they were my life source. My Father so kindly opened my eyes to the hope and freedom and grace in His word, and my Bible was coming alive through the Holy Spirit. The words were speaking to me, exactly what I needed, and that is only by the grace of God.
This can happen for you, too. This wasn't a special experience only some Christians get or that God is withholding from you. I'm not sure why God didn't allow this to happen for me sooner, before my mind got so dark, but I do know that it was an extra impactful experience for me because I had hit so rock bottom. Sometimes, God allows us to meet our lowest point so that He can show us His love and power in even bigger ways. I wrestle with this sometimes, but I think it ultimately comes down to faith, believing and trusting that God is a good God, and He has good plans, even when our brains don't understand it.
If you're longing for an awakening and a revival in your spirit, start praying. Start coming to God with all of your baggage, all of your heartache, and all of your confusion. Be honest with what you think He thinks about you, and how you think about yourself. Tell Him why you haven't been showing up lately, or showing up with you 100%. Talk about the sin you've fallen into. I promise you, not only can God handle it, He wants to take it from you. He wants to lift that burden off of your shoulders and meet you with an abundant grace, sweet friend. This prayer may be messy, it may hurt a little, and it may bring up some emotions you've tried to shove down. But I promise, at the same time, it will be healing. Surrender it, and ask for His help. Let Him help you.
Then, open your word. Just as I did, start writing down Scriptures, one by one. If you don't know where to start, Google it or go to the Bible app and search up verses about the particular thing you're struggling with. And start writing.
I'm not suggesting that this strategy is going to fix all of your problems, cure your anxiety, or reignite your fire for the Lord. It might not! But I do want to encourage you that regardless if you "feel" anything after doing this, you are being faithful in planting the truth in your mind and in your heart, and even if you don't see it right now, fruit will come from that. This will remind you of who Jesus is and who YOU are because of Him, and every time you fix your eyes on that, you are denying the devil a spot in your mind. And that's powerful! So keep showing up. Keep bringing your heart to the Lord in surrender. Keep writing and speaking Scripture. And keep believing that your breakthrough is coming.
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