Every day, at the beginning of my Bible study, I sit on the floor in front of my prayer wall for at least five minutes and just talk to Jesus. Sometimes I read off of the prayers that I've written, sometimes I word vomit, sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm just still. But every day, I try to be intentional about meditating on the work that Christ did on the cross. I think about the sacrifice He made, the pain He endured, and what that means for my life.
Yet just the other day I realized that I often forget about the resurrection. I sit in His death, the grief and sadness and magnitude of it, and sometimes I miss that two days later, He conquered it all. Christ claimed the victory! I'm being solemn over His death, which definitely needs to be remembered and meditated on, but I forget the celebration that happened three days later.
And lately, I've begun to forget the celebration in my own life.
I lose sight of the resurrection and that His victory over the grave means victory for my life too. I forget that what I'm walking through already has a conclusion, and one that is for His glory and my good. My mind is no longer steadfast in the fact that the Spirit of the living and Almighty God dwells in me, and He is working in me, and He loves me despite all of the things I've done. I miss so many blessings right in front of my face, because I've forgotten to celebrate.
It might be track season that revives the life inside of me, because I walked through a similar lesson last year (which you can read about here), but dang, the Lord is humbling me. He is oh so kind to me, oh so faithful, and my own anxiety and overthinking has distracted me from that fact. I'm getting in my own way of appreciating and enjoying and celebrating these precious years of my life. I'm trying so hard to figure it out, to get it right, that I'm missing the joy of the process. Of growing, healing, and discovering, learning and recovering. Celebrating.
So one night, as I was on my knees in front of my prayer wall, I just felt the Lord put on my heart that maybe right now, it's time to start celebrating. The anxiety is still real and so is the overthinking and the stress and the confusion, but maybe right now, my best weapon is to start celebrating. Maybe I need to get up, brush the dirt off my knees, and start dancing around, praising the Lord, shouting for joy.
And I did. I filled a sheet of paper thanking God for the biggest things to the smallest things, turned on my worship music, and sat in His goodness. I'm writing here to you now, telling you that maybe now is the turning point. Maybe now is the moment where the anxiety and heavy heart stuff no longer have to consume you. Maybe now is the moment that we can get up and start celebrating, start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - because the light isn't the answers, the final product, or the blessing we're praying for, but it's Jesus. Jesus is at the end of the tunnel, and right now is our moment to start moving towards Him. It's okay if it's not a run yet, or if it's barely a walk and looking more like a crawl, but now is the time.
Slowly but surely, let's start moving. Let's start praising. Let's start celebrating. God is good, and even when nothing is going right, He has covered us in His anointing and His Spirit. He declares us a temple, y'all! We are holy and beloved! He no longer sees our blemishes, our failures or our flaws! We are chosen and wanted! We are clean! We have a divine purpose!
This is the moment.
In a moment of raw vulnerability, I want to confess that I hesitated to publish this post because I was afraid that I would hit another rough patch and things wouldn't be all "celebration". I didn't want to encourage all of you to go out and praise the Lord, declare that this is a turning point, and then slide back into all of the things that I've been struggling with recently. But I think it's important to remember that all of these things are part of the ebb and flow of life. There are ups and downs, but the Lord is faithfully constant, and He is good, and we always have a reason to celebrate.
God is really putting on my heart that I need to start shifting my mindset from how hard everything is and how heavy my heart is and how confused I am to how good and faithful and kind He is. My eyes need to be fixed on the Father, not on myself. He's teaching me to slow down, take a breather, and don't try so hard to figure everything out, but instead rely on Him fully.
And when we do that, the celebration and worship just follows.
What are you praising God for? Let me know down in the comments below and we can celebrate together! :)
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