Two of my favorite words may be "healing" and "journey" because those words are how I'd describe my life these past few months. I've experienced so much joy and growth in these past months, and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
But it's not an easy thing.
I write about my joy and all that God is teaching me and I share a glimpse of the pain that comes along with it but the reality is that healing is a struggle. Healing sometimes feels like one step forward, two steps back. Healing sometimes feels like being fully recovered but suddenly realizing, no, I'm not over it, I'm not finished working through this yet. Healing sometimes feels like you're all alone. Healing sometimes feels overwhelming and too much to process, especially at the end of the day when I'm exhausted and don't have much left to give. Healing sometimes feels like being proud of the little things, but also being discouraged at the little things I haven't gotten over yet or still can't do.
Healing is not an easy thing. It's a journey, a path you have to take that's full of twists and turns and maybe a few bumps or mountains or potholes. There's a lot of highs and lows, a lot of emotion that goes into it.
Emotionally, healing is taxing. It takes a lot of brain power, a lot of energy to sort through what you're feeling, how you've been hurt and how that's affecting the way you live each and every day. It's hard. It requires you to continue to dig up those past hurts so that you don't bury them and eventually be haunted by them.
Physically, healing is taxing. It requires you to stop doing some of your favorite things in order to give your body an opportunity to actually fully recover in the way it needs to. It involves pain, a lot of pain, that sometimes feels like it'll never go away. It's discouraging.
As I'm healing, in more ways than one, some days I'm overjoyed at how far I think I've come. I find peace in my progress and strength in the ways I've improved.
Other days, I feel defeated by my lack of progress. I feel frustrated that the healing isn't coming as fast as I thought it would, that I'm still being bothered or hurt by things I feel like I should be over by now. I'm struggling with the fact that I'm changing, mentally and physically, and that change requires a lot of growing pains. It's a good change, but it's a hard change. I'm overwhelmed with the things in the back of my mind that I've ignored, tried to forget but now I'm forced to process before they explode. I'm sad, sad that I'm going through this pain. This pain I didn't anticipate and most definitely didn't prepare for.
Healing is hard. It's not easy to explain, and it's not easy to understand. There's no timeline, no deadlines. It's simply a journey that we're all on, at some point in our lives (or maybe a few points).
The good thing about healing is that you don't have to do it alone.
I've found the most comfort, peace, and contentment in my Father during these times of struggle on my healing journey. It's when I'm hurting and uncomfortable that I'm able to really lean in deep into Jesus' love and that's when His beautiful work takes place. It's in those hard, painful, "I don't wanna go there" places that you can truly experience His love and grace and strength.
I know that my Father has an incredible plan for me, and that is including my pain. I know that the hurt I'm experiencing right now is strengthening me, refining my faith and my character and is one day going to glorify God in ways I can't imagine in this moment. I know that the pain I'm experiencing at this very moment is not eternal, but that God's faithfulness is. I know that the struggles I'm facing are not the end of this story, because God always has the final word, and I've just got to turn the page a few more times to see how it's going to end. I believe God is doing big things, and one day, I'll see those big things, and all the pain will be worth it.
And that is all true for you too.
The pain and hurt of this world will not last forever, for Jesus promises that one day, He will wipe every tear from our eyes, that there will be no more sorrow or death or suffering. He promises that He is with us in the midst of the suffering, and that His Spirit is advocating for us on our behalf. As we embark on this healing journey, we are not alone, and we are not without hope.
Sweet friend, I don't know where you're at in your healing journey right now, but I do know that you are so loved. Jesus is right with you, every moment of the hurt and struggle, along with every moment of joy and celebration. He is doing beautiful things in and through you, and I am so proud of you.
What's something that God has been teaching you on your healing journey? I'd love to hear down in the comments below!
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