My oh my what a year this has been! If I'm being totally honest, this has probably been one of the hardest, if not the hardest, years of my life, which I'll get into, but I also want to praise God for how He's provided and blessed me throughout this year. In every trial and in every storm, He has proven Himself faithful to me, and although I do not deserve His endless mercy, He is so very kind to me and covers me in it every day. There are countless blessings that I wake up to each morning, and there are always little fingerprints of my Father's love, and I find so much joy in knowing who He is and who He says I am.

With that being said, let's jump into this yearly recap! I'll be sharing the highs and lows of this year, getting vulnerable with the struggles I faced and the breakthroughs I got to walk through - pictures and all!

First, the lows.

This year I struggled massively with mental health. I've shared bits and pieces of this on the blog, but I wrestled with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts for a large portion of the year. I hit rock bottom, and it was so incredibly difficult. It felt so heavy to keep believing and pursuing the Lord, and I felt as if I had no purpose. I'm going to be sharing a lot of highs, a lot of beautiful blessings, but the darkness felt like it was consuming me, and it was really hard to celebrate those blessings in the moment.

I want to speak directly to those who have faced similar mental health struggles and I want you to know that God is not mad at you - in fact, it's the opposite. He could not love you any more than He loves you right now, and He only wants to comfort you. His heart hurts when your heart hurts, and He promises to cover you in grace as you navigate through this season. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and even though it's hard to wrap our minds around, God has a purpose and a plan for the pain you're feeling. Your feelings do not change the character of God, but instead, He wants to meet you where you are and process all of the heaviness with you.

Partially because of these mental health challenges, I've really struggled with community this year. I've felt isolated and lonely, longing for my people but seemingly hitting closed doors every time I make an effort. It's a season of purpose, I know, and I've been blessed by the people I've connected with because of this struggle and how I get to meet the Lord even more intimately, but it is difficult and a very big prayer on my heart.

My senior year of cross country also felt like a challenge. My team didn't look like I thought it would, so I walked through some disappointment and wrestling with the Lord. I primarily trained alone, so I felt like I missed a lot for the team aspect on a day to day basis. It was hard, but through a lot of prayer, the Lord led me to a place where I found joy in my running and purpose in the time I got to spend working out alone.

Now for the highs!

There were a lot of blessings and memories within 2024, and it'll be hard to cover them all, but I'm praising the Lord for each one, even if it doesn't get featured on the blog.

The beginning of this year, in February, I was Snowball princess, and while that in itself was an honor and a dream come true for little Ellie, it was also where I met my boyfriend, and so that carries even more meaning now.

I've been able to visit multiple colleges, as well as take a lot of education classes at the high school, and that has really helped me discover my passion for education and little kids. I've learned how much I love lesson planning, creatively finding ways to meet the needs of students, and ultimately, hanging out with children brings me such joy! During my senior year, I've become an AmeriCorps member, which allows me to spend half of my day at an elementary school, and it has been such a blessing.

Prom was a blast, and was the night my boyfriend and I became official. Koa has been one of the best things that God has ever given me, and I will rave on and on about how grateful I am for him. He was there and supported me on my darkest nights, and pushes me closer towards Jesus every day. He's so intentional about reassuring and prioritizing me, and there's not a night I go to bed that I don't feel special and loved. We've made so many memories this year, between fun dates, Bible studies, and cheering each other on in our sports, and he has without a doubt been one of my favorite highlights of the year.

Over the summer, I got my first real job at a preschool in town, and I loved it. My hours were awesome, I worked with some incredible people, and it really made me realize that teaching could be a big possibility for my future. I primarily spent time with 1 and 2 year olds, and it was a blast. I looked forward to going to work and enjoyed every minute with the kids, and honestly, sometimes I miss it!

My family and I also went on a trip to Cancun and stayed at an all inclusive resort this summer. It was a beautiful vacation, with yummy food and lots of time to relax. We settled into a routine of lounging by the pool and trying new ice cream flavors, and it was such a blessing to be able to have that trip.

I was able to come back for my senior year of cross country, and while it looked differently than I was hoping for, I rediscovered the joy I found in running and was really so grateful to be able to race and race as well as I did, all things considered. If you want to read more about my season, you can find it here!

Homecoming was also a highlight, with the date of my dreams, lots of adorable pictures, and even more yummy food. We laughed a lot and it was just a special night to spend together. You can read about all of the details of the night here!

Of course, the end of the year is full of special times, from Thanksgiving to Christmas and New Years. I'm always grateful for these opportunities to slow down, reflect, and spend a little extra time with my family, Koa, and the Lord. I've been amazed looking back and just seeing my Father's faithfulness in every season, despite the things that were difficult and painful. He's grown my faith so much, and revived my joy after a period where I thought I'd never feel that joy again. He's opened my eyes to His goodness all around me, in the big and little things, and I want to fall on my knees in awe of His kindness. After so much darkness, the light shines even brighter, and I thank God for it every day.

Despite the darkness and pain that I walked through this year, there's also immense beauty and blessing. God never leaves us in a struggle alone, and He has allowed His kindness to shine through in some incredible ways. I'm grateful for how He's training me, allowing me to grow and refining me to be more like Him. He has lavished me in so many gifts and purposeful lessons, reviving my joy and my peace, and my Father deserves all of my praise every single day.

I pray that as you reflect and move on from this past year, that you too would be able to see the Father's kindness in every season, in every memory, and in every struggle. I pray that you would be able to receive the Lord's voice and discernment over 2024 and the year to come, and move forward in even more closeness with our God.

What are your favorite memories and lessons from 2024? How have you seen God move, and what are you still believing for in 2025? Let me know down in the comments below, so that I can celebrate and pray with you!